Choosing my Girls

I think that every girl has a list of bridesmaids in her head from early on in life. As you grow, as life changes, new friends are introduced and old friends are lost to time, distance and just simply growing apart. So it's only natural for that list to change throughout the years, no matter how sad it may be in the end.

I knew from the first verbalized murmurings of Justin and I wanting to be married someday that my decision relating to my girls was serious business. On one of the biggest stepping stone days of my life, I wanted those closest to me there to help hold my hand and steady me along the way.

In some respects, it was a tough decision. There were some people I'd always imagined by my side that no longer played a part in my every day life. And then there were those that although our times together were far between what they used to be, I still cared for them and our friendship greatly.

After months (literally) of back and forths, what if's and "but I's", I finally made my decisions and put together a pretty rockin' group of girls. Each one represents a part of me, of my life that I treasure and genuinely brings happiness to my soul. And since each of them is so extraordinary, I'm going to give them all their own little post :) But not before I tell how I asked them to take part in mine and Justin's special day.

I had grand visions of ways to ask my potential bridesmaids if they'd like to sign on when it came time. Make cute cards, write poems, bring them all together for supper together and ask them at once. As per usual, my grand ideas and my actual putting one foot in front of the other to make it happen didn't quite meet in the middle and I managed to eek out a couple cutesy slideshows to ask 2 of the girls. Another got asked over the phone (simply because her work schedule was crazy and I wasn't going to be seeing her in person in the near future) and the fourth happened while at work (she's my supervisor of sorts). After being on the receiving end of an awesome bridesmaid package by my Matron of Honor earlier in the year, I felt slightly inadequate, but I promised myself I would make up for it with fun later on :)

Stay tuned for the introductions of some of the prettiest girls in the world...

The Great Church Search

With our reception location now in hand (so to speak anyway), Justin and I set out to find the ceremony venue. To save some time (and possible whining on my part), we ran across the same things in Frankfort as we had in Lexington as far as space, cost and indoor vs. outdoor offerings were concerned. After phone calls with The Kentucky Historial Society, Equus Run Winery (where I tried to play the 'the future in-laws are members' card), and a few hotels around town, I told Justin that it was time to start considering a church wedding.

Before I go any further, I must clarify that neither Justin or I are against getting married in a church as we were both raised by Christian families. But, as it sometimes goes, as we got older, got jobs, went off to college, our Sunday attendance went by the wayside. So in my mind, it was never a must that I be married in a church (although it would make my mamaw a happy lady), which is partly why I was mainly searching for other venues for the festivities. However, life came full circle once again and there we were looking for a church that fit us.

I'll admit that I felt slightly bad for "scouting" churches to use for the ceremony considering we weren't members at any of them. Even moreso after I started looking at their websites for pictures of the actual building first before calling. I'm sure that Justin and I aren't the only ones out there who have done that before though (at least that's what I keep telling myself). I found several around Frankfort and Midway that seemed they might fit our needs, so I spent a few afternoons making cold calls asking if the church allowed non-members to use the sanctuary for wedding ceremonies. I ended up with a few yes's, a few "we're too small"s and one "We're not a wedding chapel you know." Fortunately, one of the "we're too small"s suggested a Christian church right off the Interstate, which brought our total number of possibilities to 3. 3 was good.

The Sunday I arranged to meet with someone at each church, it was absolutely pouring. Justin didn't want to get out and drive, but I made it pretty clear that I would continue to drive him crazy with my stressing out if we just didn't go ahead and do this (I assume I can be pretty persuasive sometimes). The first stop was at the Christian church that had been suggested, which turned out to be beautiful. They'd recently added on a new addition to the building and had a basically brand new sanctuary. The associate pastor was very nice and we left feeling pretty good. Turns out the other two meetings were busts, one church was already locked up after their service and the other the lady I'd talked to never showed up.

As we were driving home, I told Justin that we should keep looking just in case. And then the more I thought about it, the more I hated my tendency for the "just in case" situations. We'd found a place that was more than enough for what we needed and offered some bonuses over others (i.e., a covered area of the parking lot in the front that cars could pull underneath to let people in and out should it be raining). So I pulled the trigger and told Justin that if he was good, I was good. I really just wanted to be able to check it off the list. We put the deposit down the next day :)

Capital City Christian Church

View from the back of the sanctuary

We'll be roping the side sections off so everyone sits in the center

Can you tell there was a wedding scheduled for the day we were there?

The view from the stage

I think that it's bright (well, not in my pictures, but in real life), it's spacey and we can have a slideshow! Yes, I get excited over the little things :)

The Day I "Officially" Said Yes

Two weeks ago today, I became an "official" bride-to-be. After 31 months of dating, 9 months of knowing we were definitely making this thing legal next year and 5 months of actually planning our wedding, Justin made an honest engaged couple out of us by surprising me with a gorgeous bauble that I already felt naked without merely days after receiving it.

At the beginning of the summer, Justin and I took a second trip out to look at rings. This time we visited a jewelry store, Rivards, that is owned by the family of a girl that Justin used to work with several years back. And I have nothing but good things to say about them. That day, the son, Brandon, helped us as we made our way through a lot of their in stock rings, nitpicking and deciding what each of us liked and didn't like about particular ones. After a bit of time, we walked away with two ring styles that we both kept going back to, both of which fit most of our wants list from our first trip out about six months prior. And my ring size- a whopping 3.25. Yep, apparently I have freakishly small fingers on my left hand, lol.

Fast forward a few months, to September 8th more specifically, when Justin declared that the day was too awesome outside to not do something after we got home from work. I suggested hiking or wine tasting (I was still on a wine kick after only being home from my MOH's Napa Valley wedding three days before) and Justin picked hiking. We'd hiked up to the Natural Bridge a few months before and since it was his first time to go, we'd talked about returning to try some of the other trails around the park. A backpack with water and the camera was packed by the time I made it home and we set off just like we would any other day. Except this one was going to be special and I had no idea.

Justin and I finally made it up to the Bridge after taking a detour to "see" what the Needle's Eye Stairway was and having to stop for about five minutes after climbing the stairs that were basically up the side of a cliff (I never said we had to go up them, only that I wanted to see them). We were alone, the sun was starting to set and I was just soaking nature in. When I asked Justin if I could have some water, I had my back to him, so I could only hear him rustling around in the backpack. He piped up a few seconds later with "I've got something else for you too" and when I turned around, there he was down on one knee with the ring box open and a big smile on his face. I'm pretty sure my initial reaction was "Are you serious?" and then after he asked if I'd marry him, I said "Well of course!" I think he finally had to push me away from hugging and kissing him to actually put the ring on my finger and my next question was "Is it going to fit?" and his response was "I sure hope so." No worries, it fits perfectly :)

Our first picture after the proposal

Turns out, Justin had had the ring for about six weeks, and although several people knew about it (including my mom and dad!), no one had seen it. Nor had he told anyone when he was going to pop the question since he was just waiting it out til the right time.

No nervousness (though I guess he already knew what the answer was going to be, lol), no acting suspicious, he really pulled one over on me, that's for sure. And now we've got a great story to go along with it!

The Venue Reveal!

After weeks of searching for a venue that fit both our personalities, capacity needs, budget needs and overall aesthetic wants, Justin and I came back to a place that I'd found early on but wanted to make sure was just right.

Buffalo Trace Distillery Clubhouse

It's a big log cabin located on the grounds of the Buffalo Trace Distillery in Frankfort. I was looking for something rustic/country and with Justin being a big Bourbon fan, I thought this location would be a perfect combination for us.

We were able to take a distillery tour back in mid-April to satisfy our curiosity for the venue (and begin our quest of visiting all the stops along the Bourbon Trail). Although there was a meeting inside the Clubhouse that afternoon, we were thrilled with the surrounding land (the Clubhouse sits off to the side of the Distillery itself and is surrounded by large green lawns, pretty trees, a creek, stone bridges and flower gardens) and the outside of the structure. Of course, having all the century old brick warehouses in the background wasn't bad either :)

Fortunately we were able to take a trip back up a few weeks later to see the inside of the Clubhouse (which is built from old logs from cabins torn down around the county), which was exactly what I was hoping for. Dark wood floors, wood walls, a fireplace, a huge wrap around porch complete with chairs, and even a small stage area that would be perfect for a sweetheart table, the DJ or cake table. There was even a separate room to the side that housed the humongous wooden wet bar, which of course sold Justin if he hadn't already signed on by that point. Downstairs holds a full kitchen, and picnic style tables, which is where we'll have the food set up so as to have plenty of room upstairs for tables, chairs and the dance floor (unfortunately the day I took the parents up to visit they were refinishing the floors, so don't mind the construction in progress).

The only downside to the Clubhouse was that it moreso lent itself to an outdoor ceremony, and you guys know our feelings on that subject (beautiful but with our luck, just not possible). So after some discussion, Justin and I decided we wanted to use the Clubhouse if nothing else than just for the reception. And thus began yet another journey down the lane of venues, except this time, specifically for a ceremony. Sigh.

Something With a Ring To It

I must admit that I've probably spent more time looking at venues online than oogling over rings. I know, that makes me a bad bride-to-be in some respects, but while I love the idea of some bling on my finger, I pretty much already knew (in general anyway) what I wanted and what I didn't. Granted, over the course of Justin and I actually looking around at rings those wants evolved, but to nothing extreme.

Since we had our big talk in December, Justin and I took the first round of ring shopping the week after Christmas. We were headed out to the Sportsman's League, which you just so happen to drive by the mall to get to, so we decided a quick side trip would be just fine.

We'll just say that the first jeweler was nice enough, but took the first thing I said I liked and ran with it, never really listening to anything else I had to say. I'm usually a pretty cool cucumber, but once I start getting frustrated in major purchase situations, I'm out. I looked at Justin and said "I'm done", turned and thanked the man and continued on. Thankfully the second store was much more pleasant. The manager waited on us, answered all of our questions, asked me questions to help him better find the styles I was interested in, and we left feeling pretty good about all that we'd learned. The afternoon was then spent at the shooting range, which just goes to show the perfect balance of my personality- ring shopping one minute, tearing a target up the next :)

(personal photo)

Justin and I came away from that first day with a few specifics learned.
1- I was interested in a princess cut diamond, either in a 3 stone setting or a solitaire with a cathedral setting. Although I think almost all rings are pretty, the solitaire stones that just sit in prongs on top of the band aren't me.

2- Justin liked the look of channel set diamonds in the band of the ring. This was something that I had no preference toward before, but after he started talking about it, I had to agree.

3- We wanted a wider band than what you normally see. I have small hands and small fingers, but I didn't want something that felt dainty (I'd probably lose that sucker too quick). I still wear my high school class ring on my right ring finger, and although the band on it would be too thick for an engagement ring, I like the solid feeling it has when wearing it so we wanted to emulate that.

(source)

4- Justin wanted to be able to pick out the diamonds himself. Because of this we decided it may be better to visit some of the jewelers around town instead of going with one of the chain stores at the mall.

Funnily enough, that trip around town wasn't embarked upon until somewhere around 6 months later...

Bridal Remorse

You've all heard of buyer's remorse, right? That guilt that sucks you in after buying something either you may not have needed or shouldn't have spent the money on? Goodness knows that I don't even have to buy something to experience it since I tend to squirrel my money away whenever I can (have I mentioned I'm a tightwad?).

I swear I get it honest. Growing up, my parents worked very hard and although we were far from being high up in the middle class, we lived comfortably and always had what we needed. I would watch as my mom separated each week's paycheck into different categories: groceries, bills, gas, savings and no matter how little, always some "me" money. I like to credit her for my love of budgeting (well, maybe not love for, but definite recognition of importance).

Well, I'm starting to feel a little bridal remorse.

Justin and I were talking the one night when he asked if we could put a bigger house at the top of the priority list. I assured him that it was already there. He clarified though that he meant instead of three years out, more like next year. And as I shook my head and said that we could start looking next year but I doubted finances would allow for us to go forward with anything until 2012, I started thinking about our wedding. And how despite the fact I have a very defined (and non-extravegant) budget (that come hell or high water we will come in under) for the event, it would make it possible to get into a larger place (or at least buy some land to build) next year if we used our wedding budget money. And there's the rub. And the great debate.

We spend our lives trying to make the most sound and feasible decisions. There are those that say any large amount of money spent on something like a wedding is wasted because it's one day that you'll only take away the memories from, not a tangible object. It's not even a necessary evil like a car that depreciates upon buying. You just hand over your money to the vendors and after the photographs are taken, the food eaten and the dancing done, you stand as husband and wife just as you would should you have gone to the courthouse instead. Then there are those that say any amount of money spent on a day like that is worth every penny because of what it represents, and how it brings all your loved ones together to help celebrate one of the most important days of your life.

I understand both sides of the fence. And believe me, I've argued both sides in my head over and over again. Justin and I tried the idea of going to the courthouse with just our family and then "eloping" to somewhere with our friends to celebrate. But because of where everyone is in their lives (mostly in that babymaking stage), there's no guarantees we could have even a few of the people we would want to most share those moments with there, which for us slightly defeats the purpose. Yes, the main purpose is for us to join one another in marriage, but we want to be surrounded by those closest to us in doing so.

Our wedding budget would help make a downpayment on a new house, a piece of land, take a chunk out of Justin's school loans, pay off the small amount still owed on one of our vehicles, pay for the patio, tiling and hardwood that we still want to do to our current house. Or it can fund one day of happiness, joyful tears, meaningful looks, gathering of families, laughter, tipsy stories and dancing, cake smashing, and abundant love. And while one side of me says that the former is a more responsible life decision, my hopeless romantic self says that Justin and I are only going to do this once. And while marrying the man that I love will be a cherished memory in and of itself, sharing that day and it's on goings with those that have raised us, shaped us, supported us throughout our lives and our relationship is worth waiting a little bit longer on the tangible things.

And it'll just give me another good reason to squirrel my extra money away...

The Good, The Bad, The Unaffordable- Venues Part 2

I suppose that I haven't been completely honest about my attempts to locate the perfect venue for Justin and I. Very early on, I ran across a place that I knew immediately would be the one for us. But as it would only house a reception (going back to that whole not putting bets on an outside wedding), I continued my search to find a site for either just the ceremony or perhaps both ceremony and reception (although I admit I was a bit biased at this point).

Since the dream venue ended up being in Frankfort, I switched my angle to our capital city, which did not disappoint in its offerings.

Berry Hill Mansion

(source)

Absolutely gorgeous, isn't it? It accomodates up to 200 people inside using the famous Music Room and first floor, which was more than enough for our hypothetical guest list. Unfortunately, after seeing pictures of other weddings, the layout wasn't as open as I'd hoped for and I felt a little clausterphobic just looking at the images. Had we been planning a small event of about 30-50 people, the Mansion would have been on the top of the list. And as it was a 6 hour minimum rental, we couldn't use the facility for the ceremony only, so I had to pass it up.

Kentucky Historial Society

Justin loves history. So I thought that the Kentucky Historical Society building would be worth looking into. They allow rental of two areas in the museum for events, the Brown Foreman Corporation Kentucky Room and the Cralle Gardens, and the Hilary J. Boone Commonwealth Hall (which is really the large foyer visitors walk into when visiting). While I did have pictures from their events director, I may have accidentally deleted the email (and thus fail at showing you how cool the Commonwealth Hall is). Just imagine a large, tiled foyer with the names of each Kentucky county engraved. And a huge staircase on one side. While I thought it would work for the ceremony, Justin didn't really like the layout and you had to pay for 5 hours no matter how long it was actually in use. Had we wanted to do both the ceremony and reception though, this may have been a contender.

Equus Run Vineyard

(source)

Look, another barn! Although the Equus Run vineyard (Justin's parents happen to be members there) is actually in Midway, I considered it to be a close enough drive to Frankfort should we want to only do the ceremony there. The vineyard offers three locations on their grounds to have your event, but again, it's mostly catered to outdoor shenanigans. Not to mention the pricing may have taken my breath a little. Just a little.

At this point my patience was wearing very thin and I may have had my first bridal breakdown over finding a place to just get freakin' married. And eloping may have seriously been mentioned for the first time since commencing the planning process. And may have seriously been discussed. In length. But that's another story for another day.

So did this make up our minds that my self proclaimed "dream" venue would be the backdrop for our pending nuptials? Stick around, cause there's good news ahead :)