Something With a Ring To It

I must admit that I've probably spent more time looking at venues online than oogling over rings. I know, that makes me a bad bride-to-be in some respects, but while I love the idea of some bling on my finger, I pretty much already knew (in general anyway) what I wanted and what I didn't. Granted, over the course of Justin and I actually looking around at rings those wants evolved, but to nothing extreme.

Since we had our big talk in December, Justin and I took the first round of ring shopping the week after Christmas. We were headed out to the Sportsman's League, which you just so happen to drive by the mall to get to, so we decided a quick side trip would be just fine.

We'll just say that the first jeweler was nice enough, but took the first thing I said I liked and ran with it, never really listening to anything else I had to say. I'm usually a pretty cool cucumber, but once I start getting frustrated in major purchase situations, I'm out. I looked at Justin and said "I'm done", turned and thanked the man and continued on. Thankfully the second store was much more pleasant. The manager waited on us, answered all of our questions, asked me questions to help him better find the styles I was interested in, and we left feeling pretty good about all that we'd learned. The afternoon was then spent at the shooting range, which just goes to show the perfect balance of my personality- ring shopping one minute, tearing a target up the next :)

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Justin and I came away from that first day with a few specifics learned.
1- I was interested in a princess cut diamond, either in a 3 stone setting or a solitaire with a cathedral setting. Although I think almost all rings are pretty, the solitaire stones that just sit in prongs on top of the band aren't me.

2- Justin liked the look of channel set diamonds in the band of the ring. This was something that I had no preference toward before, but after he started talking about it, I had to agree.

3- We wanted a wider band than what you normally see. I have small hands and small fingers, but I didn't want something that felt dainty (I'd probably lose that sucker too quick). I still wear my high school class ring on my right ring finger, and although the band on it would be too thick for an engagement ring, I like the solid feeling it has when wearing it so we wanted to emulate that.

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4- Justin wanted to be able to pick out the diamonds himself. Because of this we decided it may be better to visit some of the jewelers around town instead of going with one of the chain stores at the mall.

Funnily enough, that trip around town wasn't embarked upon until somewhere around 6 months later...

Bridal Remorse

You've all heard of buyer's remorse, right? That guilt that sucks you in after buying something either you may not have needed or shouldn't have spent the money on? Goodness knows that I don't even have to buy something to experience it since I tend to squirrel my money away whenever I can (have I mentioned I'm a tightwad?).

I swear I get it honest. Growing up, my parents worked very hard and although we were far from being high up in the middle class, we lived comfortably and always had what we needed. I would watch as my mom separated each week's paycheck into different categories: groceries, bills, gas, savings and no matter how little, always some "me" money. I like to credit her for my love of budgeting (well, maybe not love for, but definite recognition of importance).

Well, I'm starting to feel a little bridal remorse.

Justin and I were talking the one night when he asked if we could put a bigger house at the top of the priority list. I assured him that it was already there. He clarified though that he meant instead of three years out, more like next year. And as I shook my head and said that we could start looking next year but I doubted finances would allow for us to go forward with anything until 2012, I started thinking about our wedding. And how despite the fact I have a very defined (and non-extravegant) budget (that come hell or high water we will come in under) for the event, it would make it possible to get into a larger place (or at least buy some land to build) next year if we used our wedding budget money. And there's the rub. And the great debate.

We spend our lives trying to make the most sound and feasible decisions. There are those that say any large amount of money spent on something like a wedding is wasted because it's one day that you'll only take away the memories from, not a tangible object. It's not even a necessary evil like a car that depreciates upon buying. You just hand over your money to the vendors and after the photographs are taken, the food eaten and the dancing done, you stand as husband and wife just as you would should you have gone to the courthouse instead. Then there are those that say any amount of money spent on a day like that is worth every penny because of what it represents, and how it brings all your loved ones together to help celebrate one of the most important days of your life.

I understand both sides of the fence. And believe me, I've argued both sides in my head over and over again. Justin and I tried the idea of going to the courthouse with just our family and then "eloping" to somewhere with our friends to celebrate. But because of where everyone is in their lives (mostly in that babymaking stage), there's no guarantees we could have even a few of the people we would want to most share those moments with there, which for us slightly defeats the purpose. Yes, the main purpose is for us to join one another in marriage, but we want to be surrounded by those closest to us in doing so.

Our wedding budget would help make a downpayment on a new house, a piece of land, take a chunk out of Justin's school loans, pay off the small amount still owed on one of our vehicles, pay for the patio, tiling and hardwood that we still want to do to our current house. Or it can fund one day of happiness, joyful tears, meaningful looks, gathering of families, laughter, tipsy stories and dancing, cake smashing, and abundant love. And while one side of me says that the former is a more responsible life decision, my hopeless romantic self says that Justin and I are only going to do this once. And while marrying the man that I love will be a cherished memory in and of itself, sharing that day and it's on goings with those that have raised us, shaped us, supported us throughout our lives and our relationship is worth waiting a little bit longer on the tangible things.

And it'll just give me another good reason to squirrel my extra money away...

The Good, The Bad, The Unaffordable- Venues Part 2

I suppose that I haven't been completely honest about my attempts to locate the perfect venue for Justin and I. Very early on, I ran across a place that I knew immediately would be the one for us. But as it would only house a reception (going back to that whole not putting bets on an outside wedding), I continued my search to find a site for either just the ceremony or perhaps both ceremony and reception (although I admit I was a bit biased at this point).

Since the dream venue ended up being in Frankfort, I switched my angle to our capital city, which did not disappoint in its offerings.

Berry Hill Mansion

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Absolutely gorgeous, isn't it? It accomodates up to 200 people inside using the famous Music Room and first floor, which was more than enough for our hypothetical guest list. Unfortunately, after seeing pictures of other weddings, the layout wasn't as open as I'd hoped for and I felt a little clausterphobic just looking at the images. Had we been planning a small event of about 30-50 people, the Mansion would have been on the top of the list. And as it was a 6 hour minimum rental, we couldn't use the facility for the ceremony only, so I had to pass it up.

Kentucky Historial Society

Justin loves history. So I thought that the Kentucky Historical Society building would be worth looking into. They allow rental of two areas in the museum for events, the Brown Foreman Corporation Kentucky Room and the Cralle Gardens, and the Hilary J. Boone Commonwealth Hall (which is really the large foyer visitors walk into when visiting). While I did have pictures from their events director, I may have accidentally deleted the email (and thus fail at showing you how cool the Commonwealth Hall is). Just imagine a large, tiled foyer with the names of each Kentucky county engraved. And a huge staircase on one side. While I thought it would work for the ceremony, Justin didn't really like the layout and you had to pay for 5 hours no matter how long it was actually in use. Had we wanted to do both the ceremony and reception though, this may have been a contender.

Equus Run Vineyard

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Look, another barn! Although the Equus Run vineyard (Justin's parents happen to be members there) is actually in Midway, I considered it to be a close enough drive to Frankfort should we want to only do the ceremony there. The vineyard offers three locations on their grounds to have your event, but again, it's mostly catered to outdoor shenanigans. Not to mention the pricing may have taken my breath a little. Just a little.

At this point my patience was wearing very thin and I may have had my first bridal breakdown over finding a place to just get freakin' married. And eloping may have seriously been mentioned for the first time since commencing the planning process. And may have seriously been discussed. In length. But that's another story for another day.

So did this make up our minds that my self proclaimed "dream" venue would be the backdrop for our pending nuptials? Stick around, cause there's good news ahead :)

A Whole Lotta Shakin' Going On

I apologize for my seeming absence the past week or so. There's a lot going on in this life of mine (why is it that as soon as the warm weather hits, so does everything else?). Between social dates, weekend mini vacations, a family medical emergency out of nowhere and trying to fit in fixing supper, there's not been a whole lot leftover (time and mental ability) in the end for some good old fashioned writing.

Something that I've been getting excited about again though despite everything else is the gym. Justin and I made the conscious decision last November that we were tired of being fluffy and sedentary, so we started eating better and in December joined the Y next door to where I work. It'd been over a year since we'd taken Krav Maga classes (if there are any offered in your area, take them! Greatest exercise you'll ever do and some awesome self defense training to boot) and we were both feeling the repercussions.

Here we are almost seven months later, and although I was out during the month of May in order to study for part of my CPA exam, I was able to maintain the ground I'd gained since the end of the year.

I get a little bored with the gym sometimes, partly because I don't know enough about lifting and exercising to switch routines up myself and partly because I feel like I'm not seeing the results I want (more than likely a side effect of reason number one for boredom). I've been getting more motivated as of late to get back into things at least three times a week though for several reasons. One, we've got a boat trip with Justin's friends coming up in July and it is bathing suit season. Two, I'm a bridesmaid in my friend Flo's wedding over Labor Day weekend and I want to be rockin' an awesome physique for her. And three, well, I'm getting married next year and would love to be rockin' an awesome physique for me, Justin, my dress and my trip to an exotic beach on the honeymoon :)

Really though I just like the thought of being active in life, and seeing the results of that hard work. Slim down the areas that are known problems thanks to genetics (and to just being a woman), become stronger in my upper body, help myself bounce back after having children in the future, and hopefully aid in keeping myself healthy over the course of time.

I've recently added water aerobics (it's not just for old ladies!) and the 100 pushup challenge to my normal cardio and light weight lifting routines in hopes to give my body something different to handle. Gotta keep things on edge, never knowing where the next muscle soreness is gonna be, lol. Plus it helps keep things fresh and keeps me motivated in showing up when I'm supposed to (except for when Justin is just being super lazy and it rubs off on me).

Anyone else have a specific workout routine(s) they're trying to help get into shape for the big day or just life in general?

The Good, The Bad, The Unaffordable- Venues, Part 1

Okay, my next admission may be means to revoke one of my girl cards- to date, I've oogled more over wedding venues than engagement rings. *ducks* Yep, almost blashphemous I know, but aside from some totally unattainable baubles at Tiffany's & Danhov, a lot of my Google sessions post-wedding discussion have revolved around the good, the bad and the unaffordable in the world of location, location, location.

As I've said before, I knew that I wanted to pull off a simple, southern affair. And to me, that meant one thing- a barn. Or some other equally country-esque establishment. Either one big enough for both the ceremony and reception, or just for the reception itself. Fortunately, with Central Kentucky being "the horse capital of the world", farms, barns and general country things are all around.

Talon Winery - Ca"barn"et Barrel Barn

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Talon Winery sits on the outskirts of the city and is an absolutely gorgeous background for a wedding and reception. They have several locations for an outside wedding, including a gazebo, and their Barrel Barn with its extended patio would provide all the room you needed for your reception. Tables and chairs are included with the rental. And check out the inside!

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The open rafters and twinkle lights get me everytime! Unfortunately, this location catered more for an outdoor wedding and with our early spring date (and general luck), Justin and I didn't want to hedge our bets on a perfect weather day. Even more unfortunately, the barn ended up being more than slightly out of our budgeted range. I eventually dried my tears and moved on.

Black Barn at Cardome Center

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Back in the day, Cardome was sold to a group of nuns who started an academy for girls, but unfortunately the school was no more after the late 1960's. Since then, the property has been owned by non-profit organizations and the facility houses a lot of community activities (and also has a gorgeous Japanese Garden). And look, they have a barn! Unfortunately, it is just that- a barn.

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While there was a lot decoration wise that could be done (like in the picture above) to help fancy things up a bit, it was a little less on the inside than what I was hoping for and I wasn't sure how into spending a ton of time on room-altering decor I was gonna be.

The Round Barn at Redmile

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Anywhere near a horse farm in this part of the state is gorgeous, and as The Red Mile is a smaller track here in the city, the landscape is beautiful. And take a look at that unique, round barn! We'd have the backdrop, the feel, but I was a little iffy about the space.

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While pictures are often deceiving, I just didn't feel like there would be enough room for our guests seating plus a dance floor (and their in-house catering was a bit out of our league).

As I kept combing through venues here in town that I thought might fit what Justin and I were looking for, I started getting more and more discouraged. The "perfect" ones were either too pricey in their rental fee, too pricey in their in-house catering, didn't offer tables, chairs, etc. with the rental, only had accomodations for an outside event or was just too formal for our tastes.

So I did what any other bride would have done- I started to think outside the box...

It's Gonna Cost What?

When Justin and I sat down at the end of last year to discuss all things marriage, there were 2 items at the top of the list: timeframe and budget. And as money (or rather access to it) usually dictates the timeframe, we knocked out two birds with one stone; while a late fall of 2010 wedding was preferred, financially we wouldn't be ready until spring 2011.

Being the nerdy accountant that I am (and just general lover of lists), I'd prepared a budget outline several months before Justin and my's meeting of the minds. I'd written down everything I could think of that we'd have to buy/rent/make/borrow and attached what I thought was a reasonable estimate. It was obvious that Justin wasn't as familiar with the costs of a wedding when I had to save my toes from his dropping jaw upon showing him the probable price tag.

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We identified pretty early on the most important items on our list- for Justin it was food (and that we have an open bar) and for me, it was photography (I still giggle over the look on his face after I told him how much I'd alloted for a photographer, poor boy). Everything else had it's place, but these two came with certain expectations from each of us (and I'd like to think we did pretty well, but that's for later!).

As we'll be paying for most of the wedding/honeymoon ourselves (something that I felt very strongly about), we're working with a decent to us/smaller than most people's figure and it's my personal goal to come in under (even if it's just by $10). There's nothing out of the ordinary or extravegant on our list (I'm calling the affair "Simply Southern"). And both Justin and I are good with money (okay fine, I'm a little bit of a tightwad) so hopefully it'll be easy to keep on track.

How did you all decide on when you were going to get married and how much you were going to spend?

Bullet Points & To Do Lists: A Love Story

I love lists and I love details. If there's a blank piece of paper and a pencil laying around, it's soon covered with a list of some sort- groceries, goals, to do, baby names, the list goes on and on (get it? Yeah, yeah, I know). My friend Brittany even got me an awesome To Do List paperset with it's own clipboard for my birthday

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Because of my obsession, er, fascination, I thought this wedding planning stuff was gonna be a breeze.

But did I mention that in relation to details, I also have an inherent ability to overcomplicate the simplest of ideas/decisions/situations? Justin lovingly calls in "micro-managing" but it's really me just being a pain in my own ass. Either way, it's a trait that I've known is both a blessing and a curse, and situations like this wedding only reaffirm the knowledge.

For example, I already have an "End of Wedding Day Task List" that includes things like "Take kegs and taps back to store", which is important- 10 months from now. And while some will say that it's a good thing to have a head start, writing it down to remember is one thing, already trying to figure out who'll perform the task based on other items included on that particular list when it probably won't even be discussed until a few weeks prior to the event is just plain unnecessary. Sigh. Yep, that's me, the little over thinking detail monster. But I'm working on it.

Overall, my love for planning has been super helpful, despite my need to overthink things. It's helped with our budget, timing of tasks and finding vendors that we really look forward to working with. And it saves the boy from having to do much else than just give an opinion on a list of final contestants (so to speak), which suits him just fine.

Cheater :)