Co-Habitating

I'm an accountant. I work for a small firm, which allows me to dabble in lots of different areas throughout the year, but January through mid-April is always our busiest time. In February we start working Saturdays and by mid-March we're pulling 50-60 hour weeks.

(source)

Justin and I met in January and made things official in February. At the time, I was living in an apartment with two friends from college that was 20+ miles away from work. Justin was a new homeowner 7 miles from my work. Can ya see where this is heading?

What started as spending a couple nights a week at his place to try and spend some time together slowly became additional days as I figured out I got more sleep because of the shorter commute. By the beginning of summer, I was visiting my roommates at the apartment instead of staying there. Ever the gentleman, Justin gave his "Do you want to officially move in when your lease is up" spiel (which may have been fueled by my ever accumulating belongings in his spare bedroom). Of course I was over the moon. My mom wasn't surprised, my dad started to give me the "What's your backup plan?" speech, but stopped himself. And we didn't tell my mamaw until almost the end. Mostly because of the fit she had when my then 4o-something year-old uncle moved in with his girlfriend 14 years ago, I didn't want to give a lot of time up front for her to mull it over. And I made my mom come with me.

My awesome Mamaw and Papaw (personal photo)

Come the end of that August, the last of my things were moved and I said goodbye to a few years of great memories. Even though I'd already been living at the house for several months, those first days after it being "official" were a little scary. Partly because it was a big step in mine and Justin's relationship and partly because now there was no backup plan. Despite already being settled into a pseudo husband and wifey routine, it was one of those moments in life that it just hits that you're growing up.

It does seem more common now for couples to live together before marriage, and for varying reasons (financial, waiting longer in general to marry, or just because). For me, I'd felt for a long time that I would prefer the settling period happen before the marriage. In my mind, getting all the kinks of cohabitating worked out would seemingly make the actual transition into marriage a little less overwhelming. Instead of focusing on moving, getting used to your significant other's quirks, likes and dislikes, and trying to find that groove while building that foundation of a new marriage, you'd come home from your honeymoon with a fresh perspective on each other, but still have that familiarity waiting for you. But that's just what I thought woudl work for me. I'm a big proponent of the sentiment "To each his own." :)

Anybody else make the decision to move in together (or not to) before the big day?