Today, my parents are celebrating their 30th anniversary. 30 years ago on this day, they stood in my great-grandparents yard amongst the fall leaves and said their I Do's in front of a small group of family and friends. My dad wore a gray suit (with his tennis shoes, which my mamaw didn't discover until after everything was over with) and my mom a borrowed blue bridesmaid dress. I loved passing by the framed pictures of that day and their honeymoon to Cumberland Falls every day when I was growing up.
At the family reunion this past summer (personal photo)
From the very beginning, it was important for Justin and I to include our parents somehow in the ceremony. I wanted to thank them for raising us, loving us and credit them publicly for their being role models for the marriage that lies ahead for the two of us. Because not only have my parents now been together for three decades, Justin's parents will celebrate their 39th anniversary in February.
I'll admit that while I enjoy the symbolism in a Unity Candle ceremony, I just wasn't feeling it was quite right for us. I wanted to do something a little different, but wasn't coming up with much. So I'd decided that if we did go ahead with the Unity Candle, we were going to change things up a bit. I've had it in my head for a long time that I not only wanted to make our mom's feel special, but our dads too, considering it was both of them that got us where we are today. So instead of the mom's walking in to light the small candles, I would have both sets of parents come up to light candles that Justin and I were holding, and then us light our Unity Candle. I felt it was a good representation of the two halves that made us. Then, I ran across something called a Hand Fasting Ceremony.
(source)
With roots in Europe, hand fasting was used as a commitment ceremony between two people to symbolize the binding of their two fates and lives. As blessings are read by the priest, colored cords are tied around a couples hands, creating a "knot". I've read in a few different places around the Interwebs that it's often referred to as one of the origins of the phrase "Tying the Knot", which is seemingly appropriate. Since Justin is a history lover, I thought the back story was a nice nod to his likes, and would allow both his and my parents to take part by actually being the ones to tie the cords for us.
I imagine we'll use cords in the shades of our wedding colors, blue, silver and red, with a yellow for my flowers thrown in so that each parent will have their own cord. As a little extra, I read recently on Weddingbee where Miss Plaid laid out the meaning for each color of cord:
Blue: tranquility, patience, devotion, sincerity
Red: passion, strength, lust, fertility
Silver: treasure, values, creativity, inspiration
Yellow: charm, confidence, joy, balance
As our parents take turns laying the cords over our entertwined hands, our officiant will give the following blessings (my favorites of the many that I scoured across the Web):
Bless these hands of your best friend, young, strong and full of love for you, that will passionately love you through the years.
Bless these hands that will work along side your as together you build your future
Bless these hands that will comfort you in illness and wipe countless tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy.
Bless these hands that will tenderly hold your children and grandchildren, comfort them in grief and hold them in affection.
Bless these hands that will give you support and encourage you to chase your dreams.
And lastly, bless these hands that even when wrinkled and aged will still be reaching for yours.
I imagine that I'll have these blessings typed up and framed so that we can later display them and our tied cords in our home.
Anyone else decide to go a different route than the Unity Candle?
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