Something With a Ring To It

I must admit that I've probably spent more time looking at venues online than oogling over rings. I know, that makes me a bad bride-to-be in some respects, but while I love the idea of some bling on my finger, I pretty much already knew (in general anyway) what I wanted and what I didn't. Granted, over the course of Justin and I actually looking around at rings those wants evolved, but to nothing extreme.

Since we had our big talk in December, Justin and I took the first round of ring shopping the week after Christmas. We were headed out to the Sportsman's League, which you just so happen to drive by the mall to get to, so we decided a quick side trip would be just fine.

We'll just say that the first jeweler was nice enough, but took the first thing I said I liked and ran with it, never really listening to anything else I had to say. I'm usually a pretty cool cucumber, but once I start getting frustrated in major purchase situations, I'm out. I looked at Justin and said "I'm done", turned and thanked the man and continued on. Thankfully the second store was much more pleasant. The manager waited on us, answered all of our questions, asked me questions to help him better find the styles I was interested in, and we left feeling pretty good about all that we'd learned. The afternoon was then spent at the shooting range, which just goes to show the perfect balance of my personality- ring shopping one minute, tearing a target up the next :)

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Justin and I came away from that first day with a few specifics learned.
1- I was interested in a princess cut diamond, either in a 3 stone setting or a solitaire with a cathedral setting. Although I think almost all rings are pretty, the solitaire stones that just sit in prongs on top of the band aren't me.

2- Justin liked the look of channel set diamonds in the band of the ring. This was something that I had no preference toward before, but after he started talking about it, I had to agree.

3- We wanted a wider band than what you normally see. I have small hands and small fingers, but I didn't want something that felt dainty (I'd probably lose that sucker too quick). I still wear my high school class ring on my right ring finger, and although the band on it would be too thick for an engagement ring, I like the solid feeling it has when wearing it so we wanted to emulate that.

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4- Justin wanted to be able to pick out the diamonds himself. Because of this we decided it may be better to visit some of the jewelers around town instead of going with one of the chain stores at the mall.

Funnily enough, that trip around town wasn't embarked upon until somewhere around 6 months later...

Bridal Remorse

You've all heard of buyer's remorse, right? That guilt that sucks you in after buying something either you may not have needed or shouldn't have spent the money on? Goodness knows that I don't even have to buy something to experience it since I tend to squirrel my money away whenever I can (have I mentioned I'm a tightwad?).

I swear I get it honest. Growing up, my parents worked very hard and although we were far from being high up in the middle class, we lived comfortably and always had what we needed. I would watch as my mom separated each week's paycheck into different categories: groceries, bills, gas, savings and no matter how little, always some "me" money. I like to credit her for my love of budgeting (well, maybe not love for, but definite recognition of importance).

Well, I'm starting to feel a little bridal remorse.

Justin and I were talking the one night when he asked if we could put a bigger house at the top of the priority list. I assured him that it was already there. He clarified though that he meant instead of three years out, more like next year. And as I shook my head and said that we could start looking next year but I doubted finances would allow for us to go forward with anything until 2012, I started thinking about our wedding. And how despite the fact I have a very defined (and non-extravegant) budget (that come hell or high water we will come in under) for the event, it would make it possible to get into a larger place (or at least buy some land to build) next year if we used our wedding budget money. And there's the rub. And the great debate.

We spend our lives trying to make the most sound and feasible decisions. There are those that say any large amount of money spent on something like a wedding is wasted because it's one day that you'll only take away the memories from, not a tangible object. It's not even a necessary evil like a car that depreciates upon buying. You just hand over your money to the vendors and after the photographs are taken, the food eaten and the dancing done, you stand as husband and wife just as you would should you have gone to the courthouse instead. Then there are those that say any amount of money spent on a day like that is worth every penny because of what it represents, and how it brings all your loved ones together to help celebrate one of the most important days of your life.

I understand both sides of the fence. And believe me, I've argued both sides in my head over and over again. Justin and I tried the idea of going to the courthouse with just our family and then "eloping" to somewhere with our friends to celebrate. But because of where everyone is in their lives (mostly in that babymaking stage), there's no guarantees we could have even a few of the people we would want to most share those moments with there, which for us slightly defeats the purpose. Yes, the main purpose is for us to join one another in marriage, but we want to be surrounded by those closest to us in doing so.

Our wedding budget would help make a downpayment on a new house, a piece of land, take a chunk out of Justin's school loans, pay off the small amount still owed on one of our vehicles, pay for the patio, tiling and hardwood that we still want to do to our current house. Or it can fund one day of happiness, joyful tears, meaningful looks, gathering of families, laughter, tipsy stories and dancing, cake smashing, and abundant love. And while one side of me says that the former is a more responsible life decision, my hopeless romantic self says that Justin and I are only going to do this once. And while marrying the man that I love will be a cherished memory in and of itself, sharing that day and it's on goings with those that have raised us, shaped us, supported us throughout our lives and our relationship is worth waiting a little bit longer on the tangible things.

And it'll just give me another good reason to squirrel my extra money away...

The Good, The Bad, The Unaffordable- Venues Part 2

I suppose that I haven't been completely honest about my attempts to locate the perfect venue for Justin and I. Very early on, I ran across a place that I knew immediately would be the one for us. But as it would only house a reception (going back to that whole not putting bets on an outside wedding), I continued my search to find a site for either just the ceremony or perhaps both ceremony and reception (although I admit I was a bit biased at this point).

Since the dream venue ended up being in Frankfort, I switched my angle to our capital city, which did not disappoint in its offerings.

Berry Hill Mansion

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Absolutely gorgeous, isn't it? It accomodates up to 200 people inside using the famous Music Room and first floor, which was more than enough for our hypothetical guest list. Unfortunately, after seeing pictures of other weddings, the layout wasn't as open as I'd hoped for and I felt a little clausterphobic just looking at the images. Had we been planning a small event of about 30-50 people, the Mansion would have been on the top of the list. And as it was a 6 hour minimum rental, we couldn't use the facility for the ceremony only, so I had to pass it up.

Kentucky Historial Society

Justin loves history. So I thought that the Kentucky Historical Society building would be worth looking into. They allow rental of two areas in the museum for events, the Brown Foreman Corporation Kentucky Room and the Cralle Gardens, and the Hilary J. Boone Commonwealth Hall (which is really the large foyer visitors walk into when visiting). While I did have pictures from their events director, I may have accidentally deleted the email (and thus fail at showing you how cool the Commonwealth Hall is). Just imagine a large, tiled foyer with the names of each Kentucky county engraved. And a huge staircase on one side. While I thought it would work for the ceremony, Justin didn't really like the layout and you had to pay for 5 hours no matter how long it was actually in use. Had we wanted to do both the ceremony and reception though, this may have been a contender.

Equus Run Vineyard

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Look, another barn! Although the Equus Run vineyard (Justin's parents happen to be members there) is actually in Midway, I considered it to be a close enough drive to Frankfort should we want to only do the ceremony there. The vineyard offers three locations on their grounds to have your event, but again, it's mostly catered to outdoor shenanigans. Not to mention the pricing may have taken my breath a little. Just a little.

At this point my patience was wearing very thin and I may have had my first bridal breakdown over finding a place to just get freakin' married. And eloping may have seriously been mentioned for the first time since commencing the planning process. And may have seriously been discussed. In length. But that's another story for another day.

So did this make up our minds that my self proclaimed "dream" venue would be the backdrop for our pending nuptials? Stick around, cause there's good news ahead :)