I have a confession to make. Actually, a reiteration since I've previously stated my inherent ability to over complicate any situation. I am constantly worried that I'm not including Justin enough in the decision making process for the wedding, whether it be about colors or songs or the number of pictures to hang at the reception. And at the end of the day that he'll walk away thinking that all of this was just one big waste of money (and my fault). And when he tells me that this is all me, that he really doesn't have an opinion about some things, my brain translates that into him not caring about the wedding at all. Enter being a complete girl and possible tears stage right.
I know that Justin cares about our wedding. I mean, it's the day he gets to marry me for goodness sakes :) No, but really, although he would love nothing more than to go to Vegas to get married and throw a big party when we get back, he realizes that there are some limitations that just don't allow that. So this is our option. Emphasis on "our". Justin's never been afraid to throw his thoughts and opinions out there to be heard, so I don't know why I think it's going to be any different in this situation. Oh wait, it's because I've already had bridal remorse. Yes, I know that when he says that he doesn't care about something, he really means "I could care less what color flowers you want to put on the tables, I just want to marry you." As a woman though, it's hard at times to wrap my brain around the words' true sentiment.
Over the weekend, I had a breakdown. A real, live, we're having a "discussion" over friggin' music, I need to take a break and then upon me starting the "discussion" over again, end up asking if I can cry because it'd make me feel better (not asking permission, more of a warning that I'm about to cry. I hate for people to see me cry). And then spent the next half hour doing so. Ugh.
I get caught up a lot with wanting to make this day equally us. This day isn't about me, it's not about him, it's about the two of us coming together. And I want our guests to walk out afterward and think to themselves "Wow, that was so Justin and Shana." But there are genuinely areas that guys just don't get into, like flowers. And handmade tissue poms. And the color of the table covers. He pointed out that the reception venue speaks for itself in being a nod to his love of bourbon when I made the point I was trying to incorporate as much of him into things as I could (I actually suggested using a Metallica song as the first dance, too). He's so good to me, even when I pick tiffs over nothing of substance.
Ladies, the planning can be overwhelming sometimes if you let it be. It can crawl under your skin, make you irrational and over analyzing and down right out of your mind stressed even if it's simply over whether you should use round or long tables (believe me, I've seen it). And when it gets to that point, cry. Yell into your pillow, sing an Alanis song at the top of your lungs in the car, just do something to help get it out. Then start with a fresh set of eyes and an open mind. And maybe apologize to the boy with a bowl of ice cream. That is the way to a man's heart, right?
I know that Justin cares about our wedding. I mean, it's the day he gets to marry me for goodness sakes :) No, but really, although he would love nothing more than to go to Vegas to get married and throw a big party when we get back, he realizes that there are some limitations that just don't allow that. So this is our option. Emphasis on "our". Justin's never been afraid to throw his thoughts and opinions out there to be heard, so I don't know why I think it's going to be any different in this situation. Oh wait, it's because I've already had bridal remorse. Yes, I know that when he says that he doesn't care about something, he really means "I could care less what color flowers you want to put on the tables, I just want to marry you." As a woman though, it's hard at times to wrap my brain around the words' true sentiment.
Over the weekend, I had a breakdown. A real, live, we're having a "discussion" over friggin' music, I need to take a break and then upon me starting the "discussion" over again, end up asking if I can cry because it'd make me feel better (not asking permission, more of a warning that I'm about to cry. I hate for people to see me cry). And then spent the next half hour doing so. Ugh.
I get caught up a lot with wanting to make this day equally us. This day isn't about me, it's not about him, it's about the two of us coming together. And I want our guests to walk out afterward and think to themselves "Wow, that was so Justin and Shana." But there are genuinely areas that guys just don't get into, like flowers. And handmade tissue poms. And the color of the table covers. He pointed out that the reception venue speaks for itself in being a nod to his love of bourbon when I made the point I was trying to incorporate as much of him into things as I could (I actually suggested using a Metallica song as the first dance, too). He's so good to me, even when I pick tiffs over nothing of substance.
Ladies, the planning can be overwhelming sometimes if you let it be. It can crawl under your skin, make you irrational and over analyzing and down right out of your mind stressed even if it's simply over whether you should use round or long tables (believe me, I've seen it). And when it gets to that point, cry. Yell into your pillow, sing an Alanis song at the top of your lungs in the car, just do something to help get it out. Then start with a fresh set of eyes and an open mind. And maybe apologize to the boy with a bowl of ice cream. That is the way to a man's heart, right?
1 comment:
You are not alone. I went through this (and still am to some extent) with Rob during our planning. (The wedding is 12 days away as I write this) He is a second year Pediatric resident and "busy" doesn't begin to describe his demanding 90+ hr work week. We just had to come to terms with the fact this if we wanted to get married during residency, 99% of the planning would come down to me. Sometimes it has been a bummer... but (...just between us...) sometimes it's been very freeing to just make the decisions based on what I want. LOL That sounds bad, but when he says he doesn't "care" about something I know it translate into "whatever you want honey". There are somethings that he has felt strongly about, unexpectedly. It's been fun learning that stuff about him too and incorporating those aspects will make the day Ours
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